6 common misconceptions about wedding planning

At first glance, wedding planning can look easy and fun, spending time putting together Pinterest boards and looking at floral samples. Yes, planning a wedding is all of the above and more, but under the surface planning a wedding is hard simply because most have not done it before. There is a level of stress that comes with the time, energy and unknowns that come with planning. The benefit to bringing a planner on board is that they have a wealth of knowledge about the intricacies of planning and can work with you to ease any stress or uncertainty to ultimately make planning your wedding a fun and exciting process. 

Certainly, you have your own work lives, skills and strengths that will help lead you to make logical assumptions about how a certain vendor or piece to the process works. Often times these assumptions, however logical they may seem, can be misleading. We have found that, despite some common similarities, every industry is not the same. Setting up a tent is not the same as constructing a building and designing a wedding is not exactly the same as designing a home. A planner will guide you through the elements of planning that may seem unfamiliar and fight for your wedding vision from start to finish.

Below we share 6 common misconceptions about wedding planning. 

ONE: It is less costly to host your wedding at home. 

Yes, at first glance hosting your wedding in your backyard may appear less expensive, but when you boil down all of the costs in 90% of cases hosting your wedding at home will end up costing you more than a venue. When comparing wedding venues, it is important to know all of the underlying costs associated with each option, and a planner can help you uncover those costs.  

Unless your alternative venue is a tented event site that charges a site fee and does not come with a tent nor anything else, hosting at home may make more sense for you both. You will also have fewer parameters to adhere to planning at home. If you are in fact considering a wedding at home take the following into account. If 150 people come together for a dollar meal and need cocktails, wine, soft drinks, plates, utensils, a chair or two, and a wait staff to serve that meal, it is going to cost more than you may think. Planning at home does not have to be daunting if you understand what to account for and the steps to take in order to make for a beautiful celebration. Weddings at private residences are some of our favorite.

TWO: Substituting candles for florals may lower your floral bill. 

Contrary to popular belief, candles can actually be quite expensive. Unless you are blanketing your wedding with candles in glass cylinders from the dollar store and your distant cousin is prepping them, putting them out and cleaning them up afterwards, adding more candles won’t put as large a dent in your floral bill than most expect. Candles, especially pillar candles, cost a pretty penny. And the vessels or lanterns they go in will add to that cost. Replacing the majority of your florals with candles is tricky because most of the time when a wedding begins it is not dark enough for the candles to even have any effect on the ambiance.  However, there is certainly a way to design your wedding to include both candles and floral elements that is true to your vision. Putting costs aside, we love a ton of candles in conversation pieces and incorporated into focal points.

THREE: Booking your vendors is the bulk of planning. 

Actually, booking your vendors is only the start of planning, there is much more that comes down the line once your vendors are booked. Many couples feel that once they’ve booked all of their vendors they have done most everything already and only need a planner to bring all of the pieces together. This is what planners hear all the time and it could not be further from the truth. Planners have a lot to offer you in regard to insight during the process of booking your vendors and negotiating their contracts. You may find yourselves booking vendors while not necessarily knowing what is ahead in the process and what other costs may arise depending upon which vendors you booked. When you book a vendor, in any category, their work is not done once you’ve signed the contract with them.  For instance, when you book your florist, your entire design is not final when you are presented with your contract to sign. You will likely meet with your florist several times over the course of the planning process and revise your design after each meeting, until you have a design you are completely comfortable with. Some florists really don’t design but focus just on the flowers and its your planner that makes sure all the elements of your wedding are taken into consideration, are cohesive and true to your own vision. Booking your vendors is really just the start to the process and bringing everything together is the bulk of planning a well-executed, beautiful event. 

FOUR: A casual wedding will cost me less

Quality and volume influence the cost of your wedding more than the type of ambiance you are trying to create. Every detail has to be accounted for whether a wedding’s dress code is black tie or cocktail attire, or even more casual with guests in their summer whites and sandals. 

FIVE: You can wait on the rain plan tent.

If you know you will need a plan for rain, address that early in the planning process. Waiting until the last minute to secure a rain plan is a scary idea for a planner. We have been down this road in the past and learned our lesson. That’s why you hired us - lessons already learned! All tenting companies are not made the same and tenting companies only have so many staff members, let alone tents. Next year, and perhaps the year after, tent companies are going to be busier than ever with many people planning outdoor weddings that otherwise may have been indoors. They may have tents left in their warehouses, but they need their trained staff to install them, run the event and conduct breakdown in a timely fashion. When you add a rain plan tent you are reserving the company’s time along with the tent itself. A planner will walk through the intricacies of a rain plan with you to help determine your the best course of action.

SIX: You can hold off on booking a videographer since it does not matter as much as a photographer. 

If you know you want a videographer at your wedding, then you should plan to book them at the start of planning and perhaps in tandem with your photographer. You may, however, not want a videographer, which is just fine and common enough for our clients but contracting a videographer that is not of the same quality and professionalism as your photographer is the wrong way to go. We have countless examples between our own weddings, and weddings done by friends in the industry, in which videographers were contracted in the last hour and got in the way of the photographer, planner and the couple as well.If you want a videographer, we recommend asking your photographer and planner for recommendations at the start. It pains a planner to have a client who regrets any one of their vendors. 

There are many misconceptions that come with planning a wedding that only become evident once you get into the height of planning. As planners we have seen our fair share of weddings and will be able to work with you to address these misconceptions from the start and make for an enjoyable planning process and seamless wedding day. Weddings are expensive no matter your budget. Spend wisely and hire a planner. 

Happy Planning, 

Ashley + Team

Wiener-Oran Celebration

Photos by Lauren Larsen Studio

Weekend weddings are a labor of love. In many cases, both families come together to participate in the planning stages of the weekend. The anticipation and expectations for a weekend full of celebration and family is high when all parties are involved. Minor details that seemed small at the start of planning become all the more important when guest experience is a focus of the weekend. 

It was very important to this couple to get married in a place that they felt was reflective of their personalities. In particular, they were looking for a venue that had both a relaxed atmosphere and a high level of luxury. The aesthetic and picturesque quality of Troutbeck very much spoke to the couple. The bride especially loved the historical significance that Troutbeck offers. In the end, they choose Troubeck because of these qualities, regardless of the fact that their ideal dates were not available. 

The first weekend of November is liable to have any kind of weather. It may be unusually warm, like an early September day, or bitterly cold like it’s the dead of winter. The week before Kait and Greg’s wedding was beautiful and warm until the forecast turned and brought snow, hail and low temperatures. We ordered a ton of cozy blankets, tented the ceremony space and brought in lots of heat for both the rehearsal dinner site, which was Troutbeck’s pole barn, and also the ceremony tent in the back walled garden of the venue. In short, we made it work like a charm.

It’s a rare thing when a cozy wintery wedding gets to also enjoy the natural beauty of the outdoors. Additionally, with many couples hosting their weddings during the warmer months of the summer, having a wedding not in the heart of the summer is a fun and welcomed break from everyone’s work lives. 

Kait and Greg met in college at Cornell, so they share a load of friends. The entire bridal party and immediate families stayed at Troutbeck for the full weekend and enjoyed each meal together, with no one in a rush to go anywhere. Conversations by the fireplace, s’mores, late night chats over a bottle of wine, chess and pool games were enjoyed by all. 

The couple elected to have some minor details repeated between the rehearsal dinner on Friday and wedding day Saturday such as the fonts on the invites and paper details. Besides a few minor details, overall both days were very distinct. For the rehearsal dinner we worked with the mother of the Groom and planned the wedding day with mother of the Bride and the couple. The couple did spend a bit of time helping to plan the rehearsal dinner as well, making sure the spread of food across both days was plentiful and diverse enough. However, they really placed the majority of their focus on the wedding day while still remaining involved in their busy careers. 

Both the Bride and Groom left work on Wednesday so they could place the majority of their focus on the forthcoming weekend of celebration. Ultimately, their wedding week was a joyous, and inspired vacation with friends and family. 

Troutbeck is one of those venues that speaks to a weekend long wedding because of their ability to provide the following details:

  • Pool & cafe

  • Tennis courts

  • Spa & gym

  • Hiking trails

  • Good food 

  • Multiple event spaces to break up a weekend of celebrating

  • Ceremony rain back up location(s)

  • Outside Ceremony locations

  • Enough overnight accommodation for most bridal parties and immediate families

  • Two hotels nearby to host other guests

  • Metro North and Amtrak Train Stations nearby

Many thanks go out to the team of vendors who helped make this wedding weekend a huge success. 

And lastly, thank you to both families that were so fun, collaborative and appreciative. 

XO

Ashley + team 

For more photos and information on this wedding:

Kait + Greg's Troutbeck Rehearsal Dinner

Kair + Greg's Troutbeck Wedding Day

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The Power of Choice

These times are not easy and its absolutely not at all easy to shift our attention to anything but the uncertainly of the present moment but we all need each other to do so. We all need ourselves and each other to keep life moving forward.

Life keeps moving forward whether you are ready for it or not, whether you want it to or not. Resistance always reveals itself to be the only pain.

Everything does happen for a reason. The current moment would not have happened if the previous moment did not take place. We merely do not always know what caused the current moment but something did.

The only way to be in alignment with our best selves in the present moment is to have not resisted the previous one. Pain leads to happiness and happiness will lead to pain, or discomfort, over and over again. That is the nature of life.

If you give yourself a chance, some time to try again and again, you may find yourself engrossed in some task that makes you feel better. Get your attention off yourself and focus on something that will effect your future, that will effect our future.

I am so grateful for our clients with future events. Events we are currently assuming won’t be cancelled. They immediately take our minds into the future and keep them in the reality that this too shall pass. There may be a new normal but life will continue.

I am grateful for the added time I currently have to work on some long term projects that I had previously been battling time to complete.

I am grateful that I can be accountable to my own time. I still do have the power of choice and the power to choose my thoughts.

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful that I took that plunge ten years ago to work for myself.

I am so grateful for my partner who is lovingly putting up with me and vise versa. Who meditates with me each morning, cooks with me and takes yoga with me.

I am grateful that I have discipline that I attribute in large part to having been a performer and a ballet dancer as a child. Its coming in way handy now.

I am grateful to my clients that are so appreciative of the time I am giving them during these odd times.

I am grateful for the fresh food I still have in the fridge.

I am grateful for everything that wedding planning has taught me, and event planning too. God, it teaches a ton. And working for yourself teaches you a ton. It makes you stronger than you ever thought you could be.

I am grateful for the work I have done on myself to get me to this moment because it makes these times far easier and there is still room for joy.

I hope....

In the long run I hope these times make us less judgmental, more grateful, more simple, less petty, more creative, more down to earth and connected as we now know how to better focus on what matters most.

XO

Ashley

P.S. Don’t judge my poor grammar please. :-)

Weddings in Madrid, Spain

Recently, we have found that there is an increase in couples who are looking to plan destination weddings. You could explain this increase by saying that destination weddings are ‘on trend’, but we would argue that there is another reason that destination weddings have become so popular. Couples want to escape the feeling that their wedding is a performance and to feel less pressure to conform to what others do. Just the notion of getting away from it all relaxes you. Shouldn’t one of the best days of your life be better than vacation? We think so!

Many of the popular places for destination weddings, such as Lake Como and the Amalfi Coast, are also becoming popular tourist destinations as well. With stunning views, beautiful store lined streets and good food to boot, who would not want to visit these places? I do think finding a place that is relatively easy for guests to travel to is important when considering destination wedding venues. With the right destination wedding, hopping overseas can sometimes be easier than a wedding destination in the states that requires a long drive and is far from local transportation. 

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to travel in and around Madrid to scope out a few venues for a client’s intimate 2021 wedding. I could write an entire blog about all of the incredible food I was able to eat throughout the week, but what stood out to me the most were the citizens I interacted with. They are all so incredibly nice and joyful. They don’t take life too seriously and have a remarkable love for food and art. 

Below are the venues I was lucky enough to visit. Some of these venues are more accustomed to weddings, while others operate like tented sites or off-site catering facilities where you bring everything in, which is totally doable for a destination location! We hope you enjoy reading about the venues and are happy to answer any questions you have about venue logistics (or the many meals we had!)

Finca Castillo de Monteviejo

Website: https://www.castillodemonteviejo.com/

Drive time: 30-40 minutes outside of Madrid 

Capacity: 200-400 people in the Salon

Finca de montevierjo exterior

Finca de montevierjo exterior

Finca dE MONTEVIEJO rECEPTION sPACE

Finca dE MONTEVIEJO rECEPTION sPACE

Finca de montevierjo foyer

Finca de montevierjo foyer

Finca  La Montana

Website: https://bodasenaranjuez.com/

Drive Time: 40-50 minutes outside of Madrid

Capacity: a banquet hall that can fit 300 guests and outside spaces. 

La finca montana exterior

La finca montana exterior

La Finca montana outdoor ceremony space

La Finca montana outdoor ceremony space

La FINCA MONTANA INDOOR RECEPTION SPACE

La FINCA MONTANA INDOOR RECEPTION SPACE


El Cortijo de Monico

Website: https://grupomonico.com/fincas-para-bodas/cortijo-monico/

Drive Time: 25-35 minutes outside of Madrid 

Capacity: 500 people seated and 750 cocktail. Outdoors: 200 people seated and 500 cocktail style. 

El cortijo de monico exterior

El cortijo de monico exterior

El cortijo de monico courtyard

El cortijo de monico courtyard

El cortijo de monica indoor space

El cortijo de monica indoor space


The Westin Palace Madrid

Website: https://www.marriott.com/hotels/event-planning/wedding-planning/madwi-the-westin-palace-madrid/

Drive Time: 7-10 minutes from the main road in Madrid 

Capacity: 20 multifunctional rooms and capacity for up to 600 in the largest room

WESTIN PALACE MADRID ENTRANCE

WESTIN PALACE MADRID ENTRANCE

wESTIN PALACE MADRID

wESTIN PALACE MADRID

westin palace madrid interior

westin palace madrid interior


El Viajero

Website: https://m.facebook.com/ElViajeroMadrid/?locale2=es_ES

Drive Time: 15 minutes from Calle de Gran Via

Capacity: 100 to 150 people

El Viajero terrace

El Viajero terrace

eL VIAJERO EXTERIOR

eL VIAJERO EXTERIOR

El Viajero indoor space

El Viajero indoor space


Bodega Del Real Cortijo de San Isidro

Website: https://realcortijo.com/

Drive Time: 30 minutes from the center of Madrid 

Capacity: up to 300

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro ceremony space

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro ceremony space

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro wine vaults

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro wine vaults

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro reception space

Bodega del real cortijo de san isidro reception space









Ashley was interviewed by Greenwich Tent Co.

Greenwich Tent Co. interviewed Ashley recently. Catch it live on their blog HERE or read it below!

It’s an honor to be trusted planning an event that client’s imbue with so much passion and importance. Weddings have only the extent of meaning that the client’s give them and a client that hires an event planner such as ourselves, has high expectations. We love a creative project and a good challenge. Also, there is a lot we take for granted, skills that come easy to us that are intimating or foreign to a client. Details that we discern that clients would not have. Details that alter the planning experience or guest experience or both, that may or may not be visual. There is so much that does not meet the eye because the planning just works out in the end, seamlessly. Lastly, we also know our involvement helps alleviate conflict both between family members and couples. That alone makes our roles rewarding and valuable. Gratitude. 

Their interview:

Event Planners, or as I like to call them the fairy Godmothers of all things wedding and special events related, are really the glue to every single aspect of your wedding day/event. They help piece together your dream vision while giving you ideas and feedback through each decision from the catering, floral designs and guest experience! 

Ashley Douglass Events is the total package with the motto of "seamless planning for luxury events". We have worked with her and her team for the past few years and the work that they have done is stunning and we though you should see it for yourself!! 

Her experience in this industry:

Her previous history is in the professional theatre both in NYC and regionally. She grew up in a professional theatre family and was a serious ballet student all throughout childhood so “production time” was just part of her life. While still in the theater as she got older she worked as a staff trainer for a larger NYC restaurant group. For her it was ideal because when she needed a job, be it for a month or four, she always had a restaurant to be placed into and sometimes was helping to open a new restaurant too. She moved to LA in her late 20s and did the same work on the side and eventually her name started circulated as a subcontracted wedding or event coordinator. That was when she first got the wedding bug. Ashley shadowed some designers as well, laying the groundwork for a future job all the while still performing. She then went back to school to become a therapist and in tandem started to book her own weddings. Without planning it a new career emerged and picked up speed prior to completing her training hours as a therapist so she went for it. That was about 9 years ago.

How she got started and what made her choose this career:

Ashley always wanted to work for herself. That was a must. She says she is for sure right brained but also love detail and a hard challenge. The harder the job the better she will do. With weddings and events, you see the final outcome which is the ideal reward. Ashley also has a few other business ideas up her sleeve but we will get back to her on that!

What geographic areas she services:

She works in NYC, Hamptons, Hudson Valley to the Berkshires, Vermont and Fairfield County CT. She also work where ever her clients take her. They have also planned in CA, CO, FL, TX and Mexico.

For 2020 + 2021 we are also planning for the Caribbean and Madrid is pending. Catch us on Instagram soon. 

Her favorite part about being an event planner:

Happy clients make a happy planner. Ashley feels good to be in a job that you are good at, as silly as that may sound. She is good with people I believe, detail and design.

What Ashley likes about working with a tent for a wedding reception versus an indoor space:

She finds that its important to have a tented event even if you are in a location that does not get much rain, having a main structure calls for guests to focus and you are able to do what you want aesthetically. You can be outside in the woods and have a formal event. She loves lighting and a barren tent gives you options! 

How she discovered Greenwich Tent and why she enjoys working with us:

She began working with us back when we were first only Sperry Tents Greenwich. You're a growing company that still feels and operates like a small family company. Clients value that! 

Some of her favorite events she has done with us!

A New Canaan wedding the night after the Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage as legal. Click Here to see the full story!

A wedding at Glenmere Mansion where the bride actually let her mother do a majority of the planning since she was busy with her career and wanted her mom to have some fun with it! 

And a wedding at The Country Club of Fairfield where her parents got married sixty two years before. Click Here to see the full story!

If you are equally as happy seeing their gorgeous events then pop over to their Instagram!

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Thanks so much to our friends at Greenwich Tent for interviewing us especially during a busy time, Fall!

Ashley D. and team